So it is 12:30 and the madness has already begun.  What are we doing today? Where are we going?  Can I have a play date?  Now mind you, their cousin has just left after sleeping over last night.  Really, is it ever enough?  Not up in this mo fo house.  And what I want to know is how the hell did this whole play date thing start?  When I was younger your mother told you to go play outside and you met some of your friends whose mother had kicked them outside too.  Now it’s all set up with times and schedules.  “Okay, so I will drop off little Suzy at 1 and pick her back up at 4.  She is allergic to everything except tofu.  At exactly 2:34 on the dot she needs to come in and have 2.3 puffs of her inhaler.  Here is my cell phone # take it down in case she drops dead”  What the frig is that shit all about?  What if I am sick of little Suzy by 1:15, I still have to keep her here until 4?  Oh hell no, get that kid out of my damn house.  Back in the day you couldn’t even bring your friends in unless you had already asked your mother(and not in front of anybody, you would get screamed at for that shit)  if it was okay.  If you ever came home for lunch with a straggler in tow, your mother was like Ok it’s time for lunch, go home and when your both done you can meet outside again.  These days the kids come equipped with a list of what they do and do not like and you are expected to supply this for them.  So we do with a smile but in the back of your head you’re thinking ain’t this a bitch.  The kicker of the whole thing is that when lil’ Suzy gets picked up there is always a scene before leaving.  This is always a dicey time because you really just want them out but you can’t be all don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.  You slowly nudge them to the door with sayings like Oh we had so much fun today, don’t worry Suzy you can come back another day.  Finally you get them out the door and make a mental note that Suzy is a pain in the ass and she can never come back, your kiddo on the other hand has just discovered her BFF and want her to come back tomorrow. Maybe this is why my local liquor store owner knows my name because just the thought of another play date makes me grab 2 bottles of wine for the night ahead.